Sommelier of Chocolate

(Note: I’ve moved this entry up to the top for the next few days to help out those of you who just realized that Thursday is Valentine’s Day. –Karin)

More than once I’ve been asked how to find a good chocolate. I don’t know why people think I would know, but I usually ask a question or two, or three, and use their answers to send them the right direction. After all, procurement is a matter requiring analysis of palate, allowances for shipping temperatures, humidity and due consideration of personal tastes.

Here are the few questions I ask. Really, it’s quite simple.

  1. Milk or dark?
  2. How dark a dark? 55%? 70%? Do you curse the people who brought math into the enjoyment of chocolate?
  3. Are you influenced by appearance and whimsy?
  4. Fillings smooth or coarse? Nibs and/or fruit pieces or sauce?
  5. Liqueors or nut essences? Nuts themselves? Nougats? Caramels or toffees?
  6. Do you consider “white” chocolate to be chocolate?
  7. Does it all taste like a Hershey bar to you or do you get you all warm and fuzzy using phrases like “good mouth”?
  8. Are there some chocolates you refuse to share?
  9. Would you eat something labeled “100% chocolate-flavored”?
  10. Do you eat chocolate absent-mindedly or does it call for candlelight and your sweetie near?
  11. Have you ever admitted to an erotic dream about chocolate? Yes? Details, please. Purely for research, you understand. I have a short story due and I already used mine.
  12. Do you long for the time, fitness, blood sugar results and money to work your way through the “unique source” choices at the local upscale market?
  13. I say “Callebaut” and you say….?
  14. Has a Hershey kiss ever prevented a homicide at your house?
  15. Ever said “What’s with the chocolate thing, I can take it or leave it.” Ever say that in a group of lesbians? If so, which part of you is scarred?
  16. Do you rage at a medical establishment which refuses to prescribe chocolate for PMS when you know it works and want to submit the expense to your medical reimbursement account?
  17. Ever get caught by a sharp-eyed four-year old you’ve just told there’s no dessert tonight with your head in the cupboard and a suspicous brown smear on your upper lip?
  18. Are you the type to provide a Moonstruck truffle to someone and cackle “First one’s free, my pretty”?

First one’s not exactly free…

(and yes, the image above is a chocolate box that looks just like a book,
and it’s filled with whimsical truffles. Honest, I’m not on commission,
it’s simply a wonderful gift if your honey likes chocolate and books)


2 thoughts on “Sommelier of Chocolate

  1. LOL – My personal answer to #6 is “It’s extremely edible but it’s not chocolate.” *g*And #17…the answer is yes. I was quite, quite busted.In a study by professional tasters, See’s was voted the best of the mass market (factory made) chocolates and I agree. Your taste buds are spot on!


  2. So now I’m very curious as to what your answers are to these questions are Karin, especially question #6. I’m a See’s dark chocolate raspberry kinda girl myself, but I think I’ll go check out Moonstruck.


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